


Red Velvet

by Exstarsis, PallanMinerva, TungstenCat



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, ロード・エルメロイⅡ世の事件簿 - 三田誠 | Lord El-Melloi II Case Files - Sanda Makoto
Genre: El-Melloi family so take that with a grain of salt, Family Fluff, Melvin is best Santa, Reines is smug, Waver needs all the brandy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27985089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exstarsis/pseuds/Exstarsis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PallanMinerva/pseuds/PallanMinerva, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TungstenCat/pseuds/TungstenCat
Summary: It's Christmas Eve in London, and all Lord El-Melloi II wants is a cigar, his console, and bittersweet memories. Unfortunately what he gets is a dinner party featuring a smug Reines, the snake from Policies, and not nearly enough brandy.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22





	Red Velvet

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank-you to Extarsis and Pallan Minerva, who are my co-authors on this little piece of Christmas cheer. FF really needs to allow the listing of multiple authors. As it is, I had the honour of posting it for all of us. Please do be sure to check out their works though, they are both monstrously talented authors.
> 
> Thank you as well to Godot-sensei, who organized the Christmas fic writing contest which prompted us to put this together. We had a lot of fun writing it, and we hope you enjoy reading it.
> 
> Without further ado, 'twas the night before Christmas...

For some reason, he had expected a fireplace. The Lady from Policies had always seemed like the type to have a large plush chair facing a fireplace away from the door, so that she could turn the chair around as you entered and give you a smile that dragged you down, down, down until she trapped you in her spiderweb.

A cheerfully lit Christmas tree just wasn't the same.

_I'm too sober for this._

Waver sipped politely—but desperately—at the scotch the butler had served. The burn wasn't enough to distract from his plight. He felt like a molerat stuck in a snake lair. Reines had pulled him along for some godforsaken reason to a dinner he hadn't even technically been invited to, and she _knew_ he hated these.

"Shishou? Is everything alright?"

Gray kept her hands below the table, clutching at her napkin. She was nervous without her hood, but seemed equally worried about bad manners. He took another long sip.

"...one day," he mumbled. "Maybe one day, it will be."

"I don't understand?" She blinked. "The food was delicious. Ah, but maybe it was too rich?"

"Will you be accompanying Lord Barrows on Sunday, then?" Adashino smiled at Reines as she traced the edge of her wine glass. "He can be quite insistent when he wishes to show off a new fancy."

"Oh, but you know, it takes more than _insisting_ to maneuver me. Right, my brother?" Reines gave Waver a smug smile. The temptation to drown himself in his drink intensified, and he wasn't picky about whether it was literal or metaphorical.

"I have rarely seen a prying tongue you couldn't tie," he said.

"My, my. How refreshing to see such honest faith between siblings. And such a rare thing in the halls of our esteemed Association." The snake's smile widened an extra fraction.

"The El-Melloi do like our rare treasures." Reines slid another look toward Waver and Gray's end of the table.

"Indeed. I hope I don't presume when I say it is exactly one of those treasures that concerns us today?

 _Oh, so this_ isn't _an assassination attempt...?_

He absent-mindedly fondled his drink again, wondering if he could ask for it to be poisoned.

"Shishou!" gasped Gray from behind the hand clapped over her mouth. "I… I'm concerned too, but saying such a thing…"

He made the decision to not look up, because he _knew_ the other two would be laughing at him with their eyes.

"Oh my, no," laughed Adashino. "Not on Christmas Eve. Skilled assassins are expensive enough without paying holiday overtime!" Her smile widened as her gaze roamed over Waver's face, with all the delicacy of a wolf sizing up the hare. "And I have my funds earmarked for something _special_."

Reines smirked at her own drink. "Is this Hell's best foot forward, Adashino?"

"Hishiri, please." Long fingers carefully resettled the glasses on her nose. "It's Christmas, and we're all friends here."

Waver coughed on his drink. Gray knocked over the salt, then stammered apologies as she hurried to right it. Reines tilted her glass toward Adashino, still smiling faintly. Somehow her silence _boded_.

"S—so!" Gray coughed when the table's attention turned to her, but bravely soldiered on. "The, ah, pheasant was very good. Please thank the cook for me."

Raucous laughter burst from under the girl's cloak. "Snake lady can't even cook for her own date!" called a familiar grating voice.

"Add! Stop it!" hissed Gray, giving his cage a warning shake.

Adashino's smile didn't falter an inch. "What a well-mannered young lady. I'm so looking forward to seeing more of you." She placed her cutlery aside and leaned forward, entirely too eagerly for Waver's nerves. "Now. Shall we move onto the key dish on the menu?"

"Please," Waver urged, nodding to the butler as his drink was refilled. "Get this excruciating event over with, I have—" He bit his tongue. He had embarrassed himself enough tonight, no need to mention the raid his guild had been planning for over a week. "I had other business to attend to that was not... taken into consideration."

Adashino glanced at him. Perhaps it was his imagination, or maybe the copious amounts of alcohol he'd already imbibed, but the twinkle in that dark eye seemed somehow _hungry_. "In the interests of getting business over with, so we can move on to pleasure…" She turned back to Reines. "The eve of the thirty first. In your best gift wrapping."

The worst part about Reines was that even though she expected him to behave himself, she had no qualms about laughing in their hostess's face. Nonetheless, he did enjoy it, if only to see her turn her sights on someone other than him. "Oh no, that evening is quite taken… unless you have some distraction to offer."

"Naturally. I propose some reading material of a most unusual sort." Adashino took a sip of wine as her eyes flicked towards Waver and Gray's side of the table. They lingered a little too long on his charge. "Records of kings and incarnations. Perhaps a bit dry, but certainly of interest to the right connoisseur."

Waver felt his throat dry. _She can't mean... no, don't be absurd._

Gray ducked her head down, a defensive tic that didn't help much without her hood.

"You're a funny lady, fussing over a gravekeeper!" said Add from his cage, but there was a hard edge under his usual glibness. "Too bad she doesn't need anything from you! Move along!"

"Certainly a topic worthy of careful study." Once again Reines glanced at Waver and then at Gray, her smile broadening. A chill ran down his spine.

"Excuse me." He waved to the nearby servant. "Please get me the rest of the bottle. And also some brandy."

"Wonderful!" Adashino's smile held the brightness of a Christmas star, and all the awful pointy bits of one, too. It was made worse when she pulled her chair closer to Reines'. "Then since we agree in principle, it's a matter of hammering out the details."

Reines smirked and the whispering started in earnest, punctuated by glances and grins and that maddening titter of Adashino's. He blinked and it felt like the light had dimmed some.

He felt a tug on his sleeve. "Shishou... " murmured Gray. "Don't you always say the devil is in the details?"

"Make sure it's the black one." Adashino's voice momentarily rose a little louder. "The one with the silver studs."

He stared at his reflection in the glass. He looked pitiful, pathetic. What would Rider think of him now?

"The devil..." he started, swirling the scotch (or did he get to the brandy by now?) around. "The devil is not a lone manifestation that can be fought, Lady. The devil is an abstraction of the fingers that stroke at the hearts of men and women, begging them to choose themselves."

"That's not all he strokes!" squawked Add from his cage. "Shit, you'll find out soon enough if you keep being a dumbass."

Was that _pity_ he saw shining in the artifact's golden eyes?

Instead of rebuking Add, Gray bit her lip. "Shishou. I don't have much experience in, ah, these matters, but…" She wrung her napkin. "... is this really okay?"

"Of course it's okay, Gray," said Reines merrily. "It's better than okay. It's going to make my dear brother very happy… eventually. Surely you want him to be happy?"

"Yes!" blurted Gray, rising partially out of her seat before she caught herself. "That is… Add and I can handle ourselves for a little while." Her gaze strayed towards the balcony. "Please excuse me. I think I need some fresh air."

In typical Gray fashion, she hovered over her seat and silently looked at him for permission. He sighed and got up.

"I'll be joining her," he said. "Need to clear my head a little."

He wiped his hands with the cloth napkin he hadn't used up until that point and motioned to Gray. She hesitated for a moment, then tucked Add's cage under her cloak and followed.

As soon as they walked onto the balcony, Waver exhaled loudly, letting out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. He pulled out a cigarette carton and pushed one out, lighting it with a small bit of magecraft.

Gray tugged her hood back on, and her shoulders relaxed. She watched the curling patterns of her breath in the cold winter evening for a moment, before turning to him with a smile. "Isn't that great, Shishou? With this, we're a step closer to your dream."

"Mm," he grunted non-committedly, huffing on the cigarette.

"And Miss Reines isn't wrong. I do need to learn to stand on my own." Green eyes flicked towards him, then widened. "Ahh! Not that I'm not grateful for everything you do."

"So you take them at their word, then," he said, then sighed. "Permit me a moment of pontification, Lady, but have you ever heard the tale of the farmer and the snake?"

Pink bloomed in Gray's cheeks. "W-wasn't it a farmboy? He tells the other boy he has a snake in his pants, and he needs some help to—"

"I see Yvette's been forcing more 'research material' onto you." He sighed again and took a long drag from the cigarette. "No. It's a folk tale. I'll abbreviate it as best as I can."

_God, I wish I still had that drink._

"A farmer was attempting to cross a fjord, but he saw a large wolf that would eat him as soon as he reached the other shore. Then he heard a snake beside him hiss: 'I will bare my fangs to prevent the wolf from attacking you if you carry me across the river.'"

Gray's small giggle at his imitation of the snake's voice gave him the first smile of the evening.

"The farmer protested: 'No, you'll bite me as soon as we get across.' The snake replied: 'I won't. Alone, the wolf would kill either of us, but together he won't. Once we cross, I will go my own way.' The farmer agreed, took the snake on his shoulders, and began to cross the river."

He paused to huff on his cigarette again.

"Wait, _what_ size!?" Adashino's voice carried from inside.

"Halfway across," Waver went on without acknowledging the interruption, "the snake bit him. The farmer began to drown and asked: 'Why? This will kill you too!' The snake replied: 'I'm a snake. It's in my nature.'"

He tapped the cigarette on the railing to let a few ashes fall.

Gray stuffed her hands under her cloak. "I think Miss Reines would blackmail that snake for its eyeteeth."

Waver huffed in amusement. "She would, wouldn't she?"

"Especially if it was for your sake, Shishou."

"For yours as well, Gray," he replied, taking one final puff of the cigarette and placing it in the ashtray. "There's very little she treasures more than you... which is why I'm _considering_ letting that witch get her claws in you."

Gray's eyes widened in surprise. "But Shishou, I thought you k—"

The sound of the apartment's front door slamming open cut her off.

"Hohoho! Merry Christmas!" called the voice of an angel, only a little bit tainted by a violent coughing fit.

Waver's jaw dropped.

"Melvin...?" he muttered, making his way inside.

Melvin stood in Adashino's apartment wearing a surprisingly classy silvery suit with red and green accents, a Santa cap on his head and a sack over his shoulder. He had a blood-specked handkerchief to his mouth but his eyes twinkled. "Waver, my friend!"

Adashino swiftly rose from the table, in her equivalent of a mad scramble. Strips of white cloth were just visible writhing under the hem of her poinsettia-patterned kimono. "Mr. Weines," she said through a too-sweet smile. "What a… pleasant surprise."

"The door was open," said Melvin kindly. "Gray, how good to see you tonight. I think I have something—" He swung the sack off his shoulder and opened it, conveniently missing Adashino's expression.

"I am quite certain it was not," protested Adashino. "The wards—"

"Ho ho ho, it's a Christmas miracle!" Melvin pulled something wrapped out of his sack and inspected it. It was very-clearly bottle-shaped. "Oh, this is your first present, Lady El-Melloi."

Reines, highly amused, held out her hand for the bottle and then eagerly unwrapped it to show the label of blue and gold. She read it aloud with obvious pleasure. "Gautier Cognac."

"Lovely," smiled Adashino. Her pleasant tone almost diverted attention from the twitching of the cloth strands. "But really, _how_ did you get in here?"

_I don't know and I don't care, but I thank whatever divinity is left on this earth to have saved me from this._

This time he made sure he wasn't speaking aloud.

For all the tragedy of her life, Gray was still young at heart. Young enough that her face lit up eagerly at the mention of presents. She came closer to the bag, as if pulled on invisible wires, but stopped short of actually asking. She didn't need to. The longing in her eyes said it all for her.

Melvin seemed not to hear Adashino's query as he pulled out another present. This one wasn't wrapped, except for the big red bow around its neck.

"Shishou, look! A lion!" Gray smiled as she instinctively reached for it.

Beaming, Melvin started to hold it out to Gray when he suddenly looked at Adashino. "Oh… am I not welcome? I brought so many gifts, too."

He pulled the toy back a bit and Gray audibly squeaked. Waver quickly reached out to take it from his friend and hand it to his student.

"Sit down already, Melvin," he said with a sigh and a smile the alcohol stopped him from hiding. Speaking of which... "Reines, do you plan on drinking that or does cradling it to your bosom comfort you too much to let go of?"

Add gave a loud snicker from under Gray's cloak.

Reines chuckled over her treasure. "Not yet, big brother. What else do you have, Melvin?"

Adashino waved a hand. "Now, now. Santa should have his milk and cookies first. Why don't you take a seat at the table, Mr. Weines? Plenty for all."

Melvin beamed again. "A seat at the table is just what I had on my wishlist. Thank you." He executed a graceful bow and came up holding a jewelry case out to Adashino.

"My, my. How very thoughtful of you," she said, accepting the case with the ingrained grace of an aristocrat. "I'll place it over here for later. Now then, Reines. Where were we before our unexpected—but welcome, of course—interruption?"

Reines said jovially, "Adversity makes us all stronger, Hishiri. Did you bring anything for my big brother, Melvin?"

"Oh, we can discuss at a later _date_. Please, carry on." Melvin coughed into his handkerchief again.

Waver did _not_ feel an _ounce_ of disappointment, because there was no way in hell he was expecting any presents tonight, so there was nothing to be disappointed about. The sight of Gray happily nuzzling her stuffed lion put a smile on his face again.

"I do hope you and your brother enjoy the materials, Reines," said Adashino as she poured the other magus a cup of tea. "Reading can be such thirsty work, though. Perhaps you'd like to take away this box of Landemaine mille-feuilles and some golden bud tea as refreshments?"

"That sounds delicious!" said Melvin. "You're a lucky woman, Lady El-Melloi. Oh, that reminds me!"

He opened the bag by his side and pulled out a brightly striped box. Instead of handing it to somebody, he opened it himself and pulled out delicate golden tissue paper and then a beautiful and ornate antique snowglobe containing Big Ben and lights cleverly crafted from sparkling gemstones. Quietly, he shook it, setting the snow flying, and then set the decoration on the table.

With an oddly wistful note, Reines said, "It really is Christmas now."

Waver couldn't find it within himself to disagree. It was strange. He usually extracted all his Christmas sentimentality into the cards attached to the gifts he sent to the MacKenzies every winter. His own family never even gave as much as they did to him. They deserved a lot more than paltry presents, but they always sent such happy letters back.

"Thank you, Shishou. And to Miss Reines too, of course." Gray's soft voice carried over a renewed round of whispering from the other end of the table. "Maybe it's selfish of me to say, but… I'm glad we came tonight."

"Me too," he mumbled, hoping that no one but his student would hear it.

"I used to hate Christmas," she murmured, resting her chin on the lion's soft head. "They said it was a night for purification. For meditating on the Lord's love, and our duty to him. There were candles down in the crypt, but it was always cold. The cold never went away."

She turned and smiled at him.

"It's so warm here. I'm so happy."

Melvin's voice rose. "Oh yes. I do have another present." Once again he reached into the sack and pulled out a set of three matching boxes. In the first, smallest one was a pair of tiny green boots with black buttons. In the middle box was a beautiful green and black bonnet. When he lifted the lid of the third long, flat box, Reines outright gasped at the lovely green and black Victorian Christmas gown.

"For Gray—?" she asked in a strangled voice.

"She'll look adorable, don't you think?" Melvin's voice had a note of triumph.

Gray squeaked at the sight, her cheeks so hot she looked set to combust. "I—no, I couldn't possibly!"

_Is that... protectiveness, Lord El-Melloi?_

_Why, yes, yes it is._

"Quite right!" said Adashino, eyes flashing as she produced an ink brush and a sheet of paper from within her sleeves. "While that is indeed a beautiful gown, I think Miss Gray would prefer to shed the past."

Black and red lines flew across paper as she worked with an intensity that was both admirable and a little alarming. "Something a little more modern… full of Christmas cheer, fufu." Finally she smiled and slid the sheet over to Reines. "What would you say to this?"

Reines looked at the paper, and then at Melvin's gift, and then back again. Then she leaned back in her chair, looking like a cat in the cream. "There's no reason we can't accept both. But I think you definitely understand the Christmas spirit, Hishiri. Waver will be seeing you on the thirty-first."

Said Waver froze.

_What._

"What?" he said as much.

Reines lifted the paper and showed both Waver and Melvin the illustration of a very cute Santa dress on a Gray-shaped silhouette. "This is perfect and you know it."

Melvin laughed ruefully. "It is. Will you and Miss Gray have dinner with me that evening, my lady?"

"Wait—hold on—" _Come now, Velvet,_ said the voice of Kayneth in his head, _you really wish to embarrass yourself like this? Stop stuttering and speak._ "Why am I seeing Adashino on the thirty-first?"

The woman in question stood smoothly from her chair and sauntered over to take a seat next to him. "Why, to take me to Aqua Shard, of course. We'll see the fireworks, ring in the New Year…"

He twisted his head around to stare at her, her cheshire grin only balanced out by the smallest hint of vulnerability in her eyes. If there had been any remnant of alcohol left in his system before now, it was gone. Years of his life rushed past him as he remembered each of their encounters, and it hit him for the first time—

_Hishiri is interested._

She had set the entire dinner up, negotiated a trade deal with Reines, and even counteroffered when another bidder—was Melvin in on this too?—elbowed in on the wheeling-and-dealing. He had thought the whole time that it was his student she was after, and he had...

_I'm such a damn fool._

"Shishou?" Gray quietly nudged him under the table. "Please don't worry about me. I'll be okay with Miss Reines and Mister Melvin, and maybe we can invite Flat and Yvette too but not Svin because he always sniffs all the curtains and—"

"For how long have I failed to notice this?" he asked Adashino bluntly.

She had the decency to look a little sheepish under her smirk. "We can talk about that on the thirty-first. Among… other things, too." Her fingers nervously traced the rim of her glass. "The future, perhaps."

"...the thirty-first it is, then," he said, turning back to his own empty glass. The urge to have it refilled flared up, but becoming an alcoholic didn't seem as appealing anymore. He quelled the impulse, and the bright grin of a conqueror flashed out of the corner of his eye. He smiled at the memory.

_You too, my King?_


End file.
